7 Mar

Let’s talk about my cat-themed Magic deck.

My Apocalypse Meow deck is green/white. I tend to be pretty heavy on my land because I’m so paranoid about getting mana pangs (that’s a thing, right?) early in the game. My deck relies on getting lots of small, cheap cats out first (Loam Lion and Wild Nacatl being the two prime suspects), and hoping that I draw a couple of White Sun’s Zenith a little later in the game, so I can start to generate my ARMY OF CATS.

Then, once I’ve got the small creatures onto the battlefield, I try to pump them up with a Collective Blessing and some instant but effective (that’s what she said) Titanic Growths.

After that, when I’m usually hanging on by about two lives, I go in with the big cats. Jareth, Leonine Titan and Jedit Ojanen of Efrava  are the two legendary creatures that I currently have in the deck. I’ve also got a Mirri, Cat Warrior, but I find cats in bras to be weird. I also have one lonely planeswalker - Ajani, Caller of the Pride -but I find this cat to be more of a brief distraction to my opponents than anything else (or is that the point?).

Anyway, one of the cards in this deck that I’ve been most surprised by (in a good way) is the lovely Qasali Ambusher. I’ve got four of these, and they always seem to pop up at the right time.

Look at those dreamy abilities. If I control a Forest and a Plains (I usually do) then I can play it FOR FREE and as an instant. Surprise! AND it has reach. It has saved me from many an unfortunate Aurochs attack, let me tell you that. Cats beat cows any day.

Why I miss home.

26 Feb

I am currently living far, far away from home, in a city where it rains almost as much as it does in England. As a result, my clothes are always damp and my hair is always enormous, but I am getting very attached to this strange new country.

Anyway, whenever I’m feeling a little bit homesick, I can rely on my parents to send me an unintentionally hilarious series of emails to cheer me up. This is what I got today:

Mum: How is your visa? How is your house? Do you have a coat? Are you eating properly? How are your friends? How is work? How is Canada? Do you have a coat? How is the weather? Are you ok? Have you been to the doctor? Do you have a coat?

Dad: Here is a video of a penguin being tickled.

At least one of them has got their priorities straight.



Yes. Yes. Yes.

22 Feb

It’s Thursday and I’m sleepy. Here’s some incredible cosplay for an amazing game, with a side order of awesome and a sprinkling of superlatives. Oh Borderlands 2, how I love you.

Madame Spontaneous on DeviantART.

I’ve got game, apparently.

19 Feb

I’ve only ever been a very casual gamer. Like many people who grew up in the 90s, I spent my formative years playing Final Fantasy, Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2, Smackdown!, Goldeneye, Street Fighter 2 and Crash Bandicoot. I took an unintentional break from games for about seven years, before developing an unhealthy obsession with Guitar Hero 2.  After going cold turkey from Guitar Hero, I stuck with playing Sonic the Hedgehog (expert level: drunk) on my Sega Megadrive.

However, since Boyfriend started coming to my roller derby games, I decided I should probably take an interest in one of his favourite pastimes, and started to play VIDEO GAMES with him. And I have discovered something astounding – VIDEO GAMES ARE REALLY, REALLY FUN.

Here is the ramshackle list of games (mainly co-op) that I have been playing over the last few months:

Dead Nation
Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One
Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light
Little Big Planet
Borderlands 2
Halo 4
Uncharted 2
Saint’s Row 2

During these few months I have mainly discovered that I HATE jumping (“you are the only person in the world who finds Little Big Planet too difficult to play”), and that I LOVE shooting things. Especially in Borderlands 2. I think I want to marry that game.

Note: I accidentally typed Final Fantasy as Final Fantasty – an RPG about sandwiches. I would TOTALLY buy that game.

Finally, some actual makeup.

18 Feb

I called this blog Makeup and Magic Cards, so I suppose it’s time that I posted something about makeup, right?  Although talking about mana curves is much more fun. Here we go:

I love makeup, but I am pretty lazy about actually using it. In fact, apart from roller derby, I am pretty lazy about everything. My idea of a fun time is lying in bed eating Skor bars and watching Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace, (you and he were…buddies….weren’t you?), whilst drinking copious amount of tea.

However, this weekend my hand was forced by my roller derby team’s photo shoot for our upcoming season. After much discussion, we decided on an 80s Glam Rock theme. This was totally lost on me (I grew up in the 90s with Pogs, Pokemon and Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2), but a kindly friend took pity on me, and sent me a Lisa Eldridge tutorial on how to apply inordinate amounts of blusher and make my hair enormous. This is the result (taken in glorious bathroom lighting, with added soft focus for the full 80s effect):


The lessons that I learned from this experience were as follows:

1. Bright lips are fun.
2. 80s soft focus makes everything look better
3. Birds could actually nest quite very comfortably in my hair.
4. Contouring cheekbones is not as hard as I thought.
5. Going out in full 80s costume at 9am will get you funny looks on the bus.

I’ll be posting more Lisa Eldridge video tutorials in the future, and sharing the out-of-focus, slightly blurry results here. Once I’ve cleaned the Skor bar crumbs out of the bed, that is…

New banner. No big deal.

14 Feb

My wonderful friend made me a banner for this site! I love it so much! I keep trying to touch it through my screen, which is getting me some funny looks in the office.

P.S. I would absolutely buy that makeup palette if it was a real thing. Someone please tell me it’s a real thing.





13 Feb

I’ve been pretty quiet on this blog recently. This is partly because the roller derby pre-season has begun for my league (goodbye social life, hello rollerskates).

The main reason, however, is that I am currently in the process of attempting to renew my Canadian visa. Never has a task been fraught with such difficulty, stress, peril, uncertainty and loss of sleep. This is up there with scaling Everest without bottled oxygen, in my opinion. One of the ways that I am coping with this drama is by playing the theme song from Skyrim periodically throughout the day. If anything is going to get me through this hideous process, then it’s this music.



How I Met Your Mana.

28 Jan

This weekend I accidentally took part in a Magic: The Gathering tournament. Wow, now that’s something I never thought I would type.

It all started when me and Boyfriend decided to go to our local card shop (the fabulous One Stop, as you asked), to check out the Gatecrash launch and maybe buy more cards for my dreamy cat deck.

The shop was PACKED when we got there, so we joined the queue to the counter without really thinking about what we were doing, or what everyone was queuing up for. It was a very British thing to do, in retrospect, but luckily I am very British.

And that’s how I found myself, ten minutes later, hastily assembling a deck full of cards I’ve never seen before (Dimir, if you’re interested) and facing off against a motley band of teenagers, hipsters and store employees in my first ever Magic tournament. Needless to say, it did not go well.

The whole thing was possibly the most overwhelming experience of my life, and that includes the time I moved to Canada all by myself. I had to go home, lie on the floor and eat crisps for half an hour to recover.

ALSO – I have decided that there needs to be a card shop called How I Met Your Mana. Someone should make this happen.



I bid you stand, Men of the West!

23 Jan

Sometimes when my boyfriend is being grumpy (normally because he’s finished Assassin’s Creed again and doesn’t know what to play next), I quote Aragorn’s speech at the Black Gate at him, complete with sweeping arm movements and dramatic intonation. The result is that he either cheers up or gets even grumpier – either one is fun for me.

Anyway, I feel like my speech would be much more effective if I was wearing this dress (and holding a sword). Oh, Black Milk, why must you be so marvellous, so expensive, and made so very far away from where I live?



Apocalypse Meow

22 Jan

I got given a Magic: The Gathering beginner’s pack for Christmas, and it appears to have taken over my life – when I’m not busy playing roller derby or spilling food on myself, that is.

I’ve decided that all my decks must be based on puns, because puns are my oxygen. The downside to this plan, however, is that everyone in the local card shop laughed at me when I told them I wanted a deck full of aggressive cats called, obviously, Apocalypse Meow.

Undeterred, I have fashioned a shambolic mix of flying cats, small cats, titan cats, cats in bikinis (weird), and cats riding dragons into one glorious mess of a deck. I’ve tested the deck a couple of times (goodbye, Kemba’s Skyguard and hello, Qasali Ambusher), and I’m excited to see how it’s actually going to hold up in very, very casual play. Extremely badly, probably, but I would expect nothing less.

The sexiest cards in this deck are Jedit Ojanen of Efrava and Jareth, Leonine Titan. Both of them are legendary creatures, and with good reason, it seems.

Jedit is a cat with a sword. He summons tiny (but mighty) cats whenever he attacks or blocks. What a boss. I am so excited to see how this works in the deck.

And then we come to Jareth. This guy hits like a truck. A truck with a shield in an alarming loincloth, but a truck, nonetheless. I can’t wait to see how this plays out.



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